what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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