The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
