She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am one with the molecules
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