I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
