I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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