Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize