I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
