So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
