Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
