Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
