I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
