so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize