Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
