Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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