i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
