And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
