as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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