The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
