im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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