They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
