i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
