what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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