I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
