So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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