question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
