Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dont even know how to be here
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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