is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
