Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
