I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
