I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
