google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
