You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
