Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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