just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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