mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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