The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
