I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
