They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
