I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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