When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
