Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
