please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
