you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you had me at cake vodka
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
