somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
