Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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