if i can run in heels then i can drive
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
