Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
