Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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