wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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