East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We left the knife in your bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
