woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
