i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize