Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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