they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
