I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dignity is for republicans.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
