if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
