Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
