hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
