Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize