I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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