I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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