I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
